i love you.

6 years ago...

you told me you loved me for the first time(well, the 2nd time... heh*) in ocean isle beach on our first vacation by ourselves. remember?


*can you believe you told me you loved me at the airport that day? it was so sweet and endearing. (and a little creepy. haha.)

asdf.

. . .

josephine.

i heard this song by brandi carlile called 'the story'... and the chorus says 'i was made for you'... so i went to look up the lyrics on songmeanings.net... and this song popped up. crazy.
it's called josephine.

asdf.



Take me back Josephine
To that cold and dark December
I am missing someone but I don't know who
Now I'm standing alone and I'm trying to remember
Sometimes I wonder how I ever started loving you

Noontime wind can you blow
For me one mroe time
And take me on back to the start
Where the midnight moon shines so bright
Nearly pulled us up to Heaven
By the strings of our heart

Take me back Josephine
To that cold and dark December
I am missing someone but I don't know who
Now I'm standing alone and I'm trying to remember
Sometimes I wonder how I ever started loving you

Morning sun shine on me
Come light inside my window
And rest on my brow
Kiss my eyes when I sleep
And carry me back home
If my dreams will allow

Take me back Josephine
To that cold and dark December
I am missing someone but I don't know who
Now I'm standing alone and I'm trying to remember
Sometimes I wonder how I ever started loving you

Take me back Josephine
To that cold and dark December
I am missing someone but I don't know who
Now I'm standing alone and I'm trying to remember
Sometimes I wonder how I ever started loving you
Someone help me understand why I'm still loving you

. . .


i don't know how or why i still believe in your good heart. but i do. it's probably only by the grace God has allowed.

oh, darling.

your love for me is real. therefore, my pain is real.

my josephine.
"unless you love someone, nothing else makes any sense..."

bright eyes and handsome. strong and excited. determined and in love. honest. i miss you.
not just the you who loves me, but who you were for quite some time... until you coudln't handle it all anymore. the good boy.
i'm sad to see this part of you. again. you promised and then pulled it all away.
i know you're weary. i am too.
i know you no longer desire the one you love. but i also know it will pass. we were made to live this life together. (your words.)
the details of wrong turns run thru my mind and i cannot continue to beat myself up... only to fix these things. i am doing so.
my steps are toward being happy with myself so i can make others happy(hopefully you), being more thankful, more positive, more Godly, more in tune, more lively. more giving. please believe in me.

i write for you. i pray for you. i cry. no smiles, no laughter. it's a lonely world rite now.

i lean on God and it feels better. i pray you will. i pray he will reveal to you the same things He reveals to me. i pray for openess, still. i pray for hope and peace and to get thru the next minute. i pray for you to be broken into pieces and put back together by the One who made you.
God will bless this, somehow. Only He can save us now.

i miss your good. i miss our home-grown life. i miss how much we can be.

i love you. you love me. let's just fix it this time.

listen to some music, read some old words, pray to the one who's just a little lower than the angels.

my love, i need you...


. . .